My run slowed to a jog as we approahed the gate for our flight to Paris, The plane was still there, but the door to the Jetway was shut. The gate agents were quietly sorting tickets. They had already retracted the hood connecting the Jetway to the airplane door.
"Hi, we're on this flight!" I panted
"Sorry," said the agent. "We're done boarding."
"But our connecting flight landed just ten minutes ago. They promised us they would call ahead to the gate."
"Sorry we can't board anyone after they've closed the door."
My boyfriend and I walked to the window in disbelief, Our long weekend was about to fall to pieces.
The plane waited right before our eyes. The sun had set, and the pilots' downturned faces were bathed in the glow of their insturment panel. THe whine of the engines intensified and a guy wait lighted batons sauntered onto the tarmac.
I thought for a few seconds Then i led my boyfriend to the center of the window right in front of the cockpit. We stood there, in plain sight, my entire being focused on the pilot, hoping to catch his eye.
One of the pilots looked up. He saw us standing forlornly in the window. i looked him in the eye, plaintively, pleadingly. i let my bags slump by my feet. We stood there for what seemed an eternity. Finally, the pilot's lips moved and the oher pilot looked up. i caught his eye, as well, and he nodded.
the enghine whine softened and we heard the gate agent's phone ring. She turned to us, wide-eyed. "Grab your stuff!" she said. "the pilot to let you on!" Our vacation restored, we clutched each oter joyously, snatched our bags, waved to the pilots, and tumbled down the Jetway to our plane.
The story above, told to me by a student in my negotiation course, was clearly an account of negotiation. Completely nonverbal, to be sure. But it was done in a conscious, structured, and highly effective way. And it used six separate negotiation tools that i teach that are, in practice, invisible to almost everyone.
What are they?
first, be dispassionate, emotion destroys negotiations. You must force yourself to be calm.
Second, prepare, even for five seconds. Collect your thoughts.
Third, find the decision-maker. Here, it was the pilot. There was not a second to waste on the gate agent, who was not about to change company policy.
Fourth, focus on your goals, not to who is right. It didn't matter if the connecting airline was late, or wrong in not calling ahead to the gate. the goal was to get on the plane to Paris.
Fifth, make human contact.People are almost everything in a negotiation.
And finally, acknowledge the other party's position and power, valuing them. If you do, they will ofter use their authority to help you achieve your goals.
These tools are often very subtle.But they are not magic. They helpes this young couple in a way they will remember for a lifetime. And they help to bring about successful negotiations, day in and day out, for those who have learned these tools from my courses. From getting a job to getting a raise, from dealing with kids to dealing with colleagues, the kind of negotiation practiced here has given ipwards of thirty thousand people more power and control over their lives.
My goal with this book is to re-create my course on the page, making it availble to readers evrywhere. It offers a set of strategies, models, and tools that together will change the way you view and conduct virtually every human interacion. these teachings are very different from what you have read or studied about negotiation. Based on psychology, they don't depend on "win-win" or "win=lose." They don't depend on being a "hard" or soft" bargainer. They don's depend on a rational world, on who has the most power. or on phrases that make much of negotiation seem inaccessible and impractical. Instead, they are based on how people perceive, think, feel, and live in the real world. And they will help anyone do what this book suggests: get more.
And that's one of those instinctive human desires, isn't it? More. Whenever you do almost anything, don't you wonder if these's more? It doesn'thave to mean more ofr me and less ofr you. Itjust has to be, well, more. And it doesn't necessarily mean more money.It means more of whatever you value: more money, more time, more food, more love, more travel, more responsibilty, more basketball, more TV, more music.
This book is about more,: how you define it, how you get it, how you keep it. whoever you are, wherever you are. the ideas and tools in this booke were meant for you.
The world is full of negotiation books telling you how to get to yes, get past no, win, gain and advantage, close the deal, get leverage, influence or persuade others, be nice, be tough, and so forth.
But of those who finish reading them, few can go out and do it. Besides, sometimes you may want to get to no. Or you want to get to maybe. Or you just want to delay thing. But instinctively, you always want to get more of what you want.
In Getting more, I present this infomation in such a way that you will actually be able to use it ---immediately--- whether ordering a pizza or negotiaing a billion-dollar deal or asking for a discount on a blouse or a pair of pants. This is what people who take my course are required to do. I tell them to use the stratgies the same day, write them down in their journals, pratice them, and use them again.
